Summertime fun and frustration with kids
It's summer time, and the kids are out of school.
There's plenty of fun to be had. And perhaps even more conflict to navigate.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make conflict with our kids disappear.
Unfortunately, that would only happen if we became the same person (and still we have inner conflict all the time).
So what can we do?
Are we just supposed to keep reminding them over and over again? Or, keep asking them to listen or stop?
Or, keep taking deep breaths and patiently (or impatiently) moving through the same conversation or the same response?
My response to all of that is...NO.
And here's why.
When we find ourselves repeating the same argument or bumping into the same challenge over and over again, it means we've got a pattern of mismatched perspectives, and that pattern isn't going to change on it's own.
Instead, the pattern tends to become part of our dynamic. Our relationship moving forward. And that can push us apart over time.
So, is there anything we can do about these conflict patterns?
You might have guessed that my answer is...YES!
Yes, you can intervene in that conflict before it becomes an unconscious habit in your relationship.
And that intervention does not need to include backing off, standing your ground, or any other response that leads one of you to abandoning your needs or feelings.
Because when that happens, it not only impacts our/their sense of self, but the foundation of trust in the relationship takes a hit as well.
It is possible to find an actual solution that changes the way you both experience and address whatever conflict you're navigating (e.g., technology, routines, sibling conflict, etc.).
And the path to this mutually satisfying solution is more practical than you might guess.
You do not need to be a master of self-regulation or an expert in child development.
But, I will admit, that the technique to find your solution and bring your perspectives into better alignment, is a bit unconventional–for how we usually address conflict.
It's something you already do in other areas of your life. Just not while you're navigating conflict with your kids.
I walk you through all of this in my webinar, Connecting through Conflict.
I provide more information about why you and your child keep repeating the same argument, and what you can do to…
Stop the conflict cycle
Discover a productive solution
Build the relationship you both want, and
Support your child’s social-emotion development
All without needing to be a perfect parent.
If you don't want to keep building a habit of disconnection through conflict, I know you'll love my free webinar on how to connect through conflict.
Add your name and email below, and I’ll send the webinar link straight to your inbox.
This webinar is ideal for parents and caregivers with kids, five years and older.
If you have littles (or work with them), I'd recommend getting the webinar and then setting up a free consultation with me to get a tip on adapting the process based on your kiddo's development.
While I can't wave a magic wand, I have created a way to unlock a surprising solution to help you navigate your everyday conflict in a way that can make you feel like you've just discovered your own spell book.
Here's what some other parents have had to say...
“We now have a plan that my son is on board with!” - Father of a school-aged child
“This is HUGELY applicable to everyday life….” - Parent of a pre-teen
Wishing you more fun and less frustration this summer and beyond,
Dr. Heather Cline
