Letter to Family Professionals
I’ve been watching something happening to parents and the way we work with them for a long time, and I can’t dance around it any longer.
It’s time to talk more openly about it, and begin to contribute more fully to reshaping the status quo.
What is it that I see?
Let me first say that this is a systemic issue that we’ve all been sucked into. I’m right there with you.
Change will not happen overnight. But, I believe there are things we can do about it to shift the system from the inside out, and make a long-term impact on the well-being of children and the adults who care for them.
Let’s take a cue from Kamala Harris and fully step into this opportunity to become the exceptional humans we are and desire to be.
Since my very first exposure to parent education in 2004, I’ve witnessed parents being talked to as if they can adjust how they react to their children with the flip of a switch.
I believe you’ll agree with me when I say that parenting is unlike working a light switch in just about every way possible.
And supporting parent learning is not that simple either.
If we’re going to compare parenting to anything, let’s consider sailing.
We can learn what to do under different wind conditions, but it keeps changing.
You have to adjust on the fly. You learn through experience, through failure.
No two sailing trips will ever be the same, even if you remained in the same bay, with the same boat, for your entire life.
It’s an act of reading cues and responding in the moment, and then watching to see what happens while making minor adjustments to find that sweet spot…and then doing that all over again.
Sailing gets closer to the complexity of parenting, and yet still, it’s wholly inadequate.
Because parents are not sailing a boat.
They are raising another human, or 12 in the case of my grandmother. I know. But don’t worry, their first names all start with “B” just to make it more overwhelming.
Why do we treat parents like their problem can be solved with the flip of a light switch, or like they’re taking up sailing as a new hobby?
Again, let me emphasize… I am talking to myself as much as anyone else, and I’m being a bit dramatic because I realize that’s what it takes to get fired up enough about something to stand up and take action toward change.
That’s actually how I felt when I first learned about the Reflective Dialogue Parent Education Design (RDPED).
When I read about the philosophy of working with parents as developing adult learners, it was love at first sight. That was 20 years ago now, and it’s still what I fall asleep thinking about and wake up thinking about. I’m serious. Ask my husband.
I believe in RDPED, and I’m grateful so many others do, too. But, if you’ve experienced this approach you know it is very unconventional.
It’s the opposite of the status quo, quick-tip, standardized best practice world that seems to consume much of parent education and parenting today.
RDPED slows us down, invites parents to discover their own solutions, and trusts that when processed intentionally, parents will arrive at a best practice for them that actually looks eerily similar to (and often better than) the one we were going to recommend.
When the answer comes from within, the parent now owns that knowledge as their own wisdom rather than something to keep track of from us.
Working with parents as developing human beings should not be unconventional.
Treating the parent-child relationship like the complex and life-altering system it is, should not be unconventional.
Parents deserve better, and so do children.
So, what can we do to change the narrative?
We can begin with where we already are, and work our way out.
We can begin from within ourselves, and grow into the kind of educators, coaches, and advocates parents need us to be.
I believe it’s time for us to become exceptional facilitators of parent learning AND development.
Not just at sharing research-based information. Not just at teaching skills. Not just at making parents feel less alone. Not just at asking reflective questions, or prompting parents to recognize their own perspective and consider their child’s.
As a powerful 3-yr-old in my life says, “I want ALL the things.”
I’m talking about honing our craft so well that we can discern what parents need, and respond accordingly. I’m talking about truly meeting parents where they are and cultivating a learning environment for them that feels like coming home to themselves and the parent they want to be.
It will not be fast or easy for any of us, myself included. But it will be inspiring, and make an impact.
I’ve already been inspired through the conversations I’ve had about this with parenting professionals this summer.
They remind me that I’m not alone in my observations or desire to become an exceptional parent educator.
We cannot do it alone.
We need ongoing reminders that we are not alone.
We need to respect ourselves as developing adult learners who don’t master something in a one-day workshop, or even a 6-week course.
This kind of progress requires persistence and patience.
It requires practice, encouragement, and a place to learn through experience without needing to be perfect.
Becoming exceptional is not about performing with perfection.
It’s about fully stepping into the opportunity to strive toward the kind of professional you desire to be.
This year, in the Reflective Dialogue Community, we’re coming together to empower each other in becoming exceptional facilitators of parent learning AND development.
I’ll be employing all of the same methods to support your development as you will with parents, because we’re all human beings who expand through meaningful dialogue with one another.
Here’s an overview of what you can expect:
Monthly Themes |
We’ll focus our professional development on one main theme each month. I’ve intentionally planned them to help you prepare for the upcoming weeks of your own work.
Check out our first three themes.
August: You are welcome here.
How do we cultivate an environment for parents that truly welcomes them as they are, while also inspiring openness to growth and change?
September: You are not alone.
How do we cultivate an environment for parents that makes them feel normal, but not complacent, as they navigate challenges in their parenting lives?
October: You can get vulnerable here.
How do we cultivate an environment that holds space for the vulnerability necessary for growth, without triggering a level of insecurity or defensiveness that closes people down?
Monthly Live Conversations |
Video Spotlight: I’ll facilitate a Reflective Dialogue session with a video that speaks to our theme. You’ll get to learn the method through a genuine experience - no role-play here. By next year, the Hourglass Questions and how to facilitate them will be in your bones. Plus, you can turn around and use my lesson in your own work!
1st session is August 7th at 2:30pm CT.
Co-planning: Bring your planning needs to the community and we’ll figure it out together, from choosing the right video to deciding when to give information, prompt reflection, or anything in between. This is where you develop your uniquely exceptional practice.
1st session is September 18th at 2:30pm CT.
Weekly Asynchronous Engagement |
You’ll see posts and questions from me so that you can reflect on your practice, exchange new insights and successful strategies with each other, and make incremental progress through the RDPED training (if you haven’t finished the course, this is your year).
If that sounds like a lot, don’t worry. You’re in charge of when and how you engage. No roll-call here. Just purpose-driven progress like you’ve never experienced before. Plus, it comes with 100+ video clips to use in your teaching and over 40 lesson plans written and ready to go.
“This is the most helpful and relevant professional development for parent educators!” Stephanie, parent educator and coach
I’m looking forward to an exceptional year in community with you.
See you soon,
– Dr. Heather Cline
